I like my drinks dirty and my seafood fresh

You’ve got simple rules: the drink should come dirty, the seafood should come fresh, and anything else in your life should meet the same standard. No stale flavors. No recycled stories. And definitely nothing that’s been passed around the block like a rental.

You know quality when you taste it — and you’re not shy about wanting the good stuff.

Anyone who reads it twice will catch the joke.
Anyone who smirks is your kind of company.

This t-shirt feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. 

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

⚠️ Choose wisely, adventurer. Every piece is made just for you, so we can’t take it back if the size is off. Returns are only for misprints, defects, or battle damage in shipping.

Fit Note: Crafted with a true-to-size athletic silhouette — structured up top, smooth and slightly fitted through the body. For a roomier feel, choose one size up.

Size guide